Rodd's Ramblings: He walks the line ... slowly

Last week in the Pine Knot News we featured a story on the benefits of walking and how people across the state, and especially in our area, are walking more than ever during the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s a way of getting exercise, spending time safely with friends and family and just basically a great way to relieve stress.

It can also cause problems if you aren’t walking with people of your same physical and mental make up.

I have been going on a minimum of one walk a day, usually with my wife. Both of us need to shed a few pounds and, since we have plenty of time on our hands, we figure this is a good start.

Unfortunately, my wife seems to pull a Fred and Wilma Flintstone on me the moment her feet hit the ground. You know Fred and Wilma and their neighbors, the Rubbles? Whenever they got in the stone car their feet were moving a million miles an hour just to get it going down the road. Well, that’s my wife. Me? I like to just take my time and amble on down the road.

I am not naive enough to think that picking up the pace a bit would be a good thing. But then you might as well run or jog. If I am going out for a walk I am going out there to listen to the birds, watch kids play in yards, wave at cars going by, and generally take it easy and enjoy the whole ambiance of the walking experience. I am not out there trying to set a land-speed record.

The weird thing is that most the guys I know who are out walking feel the same way. Not all of them, but most of them. Women? Holy cow, it seems like all of them, my wife included, appear as if they are trying out for Team USA. What is up with that?

Maybe it is my mindset, but I sure find it more relaxing to just kind of mosey on along and just take it easy when I’m walking. At the age I am at now, I am pretty sure I won’t become a professional walker so, what the heck, just enjoy the scenery and the day. I also figure doing something is better than nothing. I was getting pretty good at doing nothing so perhaps I could become pretty good at doing just a little.

Problems ensue when you and your walking partner, or partners, are not on the same page. How fast are we going to walk? How far are we going to walk and what route are we going to walk? These are all things you should know prior to venturing out.

Women seem to have everything figured out beforehand. They know where they are going, how fast they are going to walk and they even know when they want to be back. The first question my wife asks when we go out the door for our evening walk is where are we going and how long are we going to be gone. Being the nice guy that I am, I usually respond by saying something like “I don’t know” and “I don’t think we’ll be gone long enough for anyone to be concerned enough to send out a missing person report.” Of course, that goes over like a fart in church.

The other day my wife said “Why don’t you lead and at least that way we’ll be walking at the same speed.” Goody gumdrops. I was in “turtle vs. the hare” heaven. As we continued on our walk, we ran into our neighbors — who are both slightly older than us and who had started their walk about the same time we did. We chatted them up, from a safe social distance, and my wife asked them how far they had walked. By the time they got done describing their route, I realized they must have walked close to two miles. In the time the neighbors had gone on their marathon walking route, we had managed to make it around the block.

Despite my wife’s glares, I figure the slower you walk, the less miles you put on your joints. At the age I am now, I feel pretty good about that.

WKLK radio personality Kerry Rodd writes sports for the Pine Knot News.