Rodd's Ramblings: You with babies, don't you walk so fast

In recent columns I’ve talked about my walking prowess and how I have used this time to enjoy outdoor walks with my wife each night. It is well reported that I am not in a rush when I go out for the daily constitutional. But things changed dramatically Monday night when a series of events brought out the old competitive instincts.

It nearly did me in.

After getting home from work, my wife and I headed out for our walk, and at the beginning things appeared normal. In typical fashion, she was about 10 yards ahead of me a block or two in, and would stop every few minutes or so to allow me to catch up. Things were perfect when we ran into some neighbors who were out painting their house and we stopped to let them know how nice it looked. Once that conversation was about over, we decided to walk again.

That’s when we noticed them … our youthful (compared to us) neighbors from down the street. The dad was pushing a stroller with an infant and the mom was wearing one of those front baby harnesses holding a newborn child.

As we started to walk up the street, I looked over my shoulder and noticed that the mom and dad were catching us.

“If you don’t start walking faster, we are going to get passed by a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it and a mom who had a baby a week ago and is carrying the baby in a pack,” my wife said.

Normally, that wouldn’t bother me at all, but for whatever reason I decided that on this day they would not pass us. I told my wife, “Let’s go” and we were off to the proverbial walking races. But an odd thing kept happening. Every time we turned around, and no matter how fast we walked, they seemed to be gaining on us. What gives here? Are these aliens? Olympians? How can this be possible? Good heavens. The lady just had a baby and she is making me look like a sloth. This can’t be.

I quickly shared a plan. We would pick up the pace and then turn up the next road to see if they would continue straight or if they would follow us. If they followed us on the next road, which has a slight incline, I felt that the hill would do them in and we would easily pull away to a victory. The next road was still a half a block away and I was getting gassed while the young ones were still gaining. With some encouragement from my wife, I managed to pull my form together and we turned the corner as we made a break for it, up the hill.

We had walked only a couple hundred yards when I turned around and noticed they were not behind us. Victory.

We got to the top of the hill — after slowing noticeably — and hung a left. After walking a block we came to a crossroad and I looked to the left and there they were — within throwing distance.

The wife and I found yet another gear, but after another block I was beginning to think we had no chance of surviving with our dignity intact. We hooked a quick right turn and that’s when it hit me. The Lost Tavern sign loomed ahead. Perhaps we could hide behind the sign and they would walk by and never notice us, thus preserving what little dignity we had left. We slipped into our hiding spot and after a peek or two around the sign we realized they had turned and gone in the other direction.

Yes. We did it. The recently pregnant lady carrying her child and the man pushing a stroller with the 2-year-old in it did not pass us. This is stuff to write home about. Better yet, let’s go into the Lost Tavern and celebrate. The end of a perfect trek.

WKLK radio personality Kerry Rodd writes sports for the Pine Knot News.