Rodd's Ramblings: Early gift buying is my mantra this year, I think

It’s Christmas and holiday time again and that means the annual ritual of finding presents for family and friends is well underway. Usually I am a last-minute shopper, and by last minute I’m talking about no sooner than a couple of days before Christmas Day.

For me the easiest part is having a complete and utter knowledge of the person I am giving the present to. That and the fact that normally my wife does most of the shopping and all I have to do is give her a little nod and say “nice job.” When it comes to shopping in general I am pretty lazy but very once in a while I get stuck and have to do the chore on my own.

A number of years ago Mike Sylvester, a former newspaper editor, and I were working at the old Pine Knot office on Highway 33. In those days we worked well into the night writing and editing stories and that day was no different. At around noon Mike looked at me and said, “Do you realize tomorrow is Christmas Eve?” I responded by telling him I had forgotten all about it and I had not bought one present.

So, it was off to the races for the two of us. We made stops at numerous local shops and stores. Our final stop later that night was at a local big box store for some last minute stocking stuffers. Mike was buying for his mom and dad and I was buying for my wife and kids. Needless to say, it got embarrassing when Mike and I were standing in the aisle of this store talking about pillows and blankets for his parents when my eldest daughter came around the corner with a weird look on her face. “What are you guys doing?”

I suppose it looked rather unusual that her dad and another buddy of his were shopping together at 8 p.m. on the eve of Christmas Eve, holding pillows and blankets.

This year I decided to research ideas well in advance. My goal was to have a big list of gift items so that I could match up the person with the right gift. Of course all of this was to have a sports theme per my narrow-minded way of selecting gifts. So the following are some of my ideas for this Christmas.

For anyone with young children or grandchildren, I thought what could be cooler than a cereal bowl with a built-in basketball hoop. That way while they are eating their Froot Loops and Cheerios, they can have fun tossing the cereal through the hoop. I am sure parents would love the fact that they could keep their kids entertained during breakfast.

If you know of someone who likes to have a few beers and barbecue, how about getting them a game-used hockey stick bottle opener, as well as a barbecue set of tongs and spatulas also made from hockey sticks.

You can head over to the Mail Station in Cloquet and pick up a stadium puzzle like we did. Ours was a puzzle of US Bank Stadium. It had about a billion pieces and took 42 days for my wife and I to get it finished.

You can find myriad baseball-related trinkets. There are bobblehead dolls of your favorite players, jerseys, cufflinks, miniature bats, helmets, hats, just about anything you can imagine. But how many people have a home plate paperweight with your favorite team logo plastered across the top? Perfect for any office.

This year you can find things like a soccer kicking coin bank, mittens made just for wiping the snot off your nose on a cold day, a door that turns into a ping pong table, or even an outdoor hockey rink for under $400. You name it, you can find it.

Did you know you can buy a heated bleacher seat? How many of us have sat through a cold high school football, soccer, softball, or baseball game on a metal bleacher seat? This new seat allows you to watch your kids play and keep your fanny warm. You can even buy a bleacher cushion called Sweet Cheeks which makes it look like you’re wearing a thong from behind.

You can buy a toilet putting green to practice putting while you’re doing your business. There’s a softball glove with a built in flask, giving “beer league softball” a whole new meaning. If you’ve ever wanted a ski mask for those cold days at Pine Valley, you can pick up a thing called the “Beardo HD Ski Mask,” a ski mask with a high-definition image printed on the front so you can look like any animal you choose.

I spent hours looking at all these unique gift ideas. Unfortunately, I have never ordered anything online. I wouldn’t know what to do or how to do it.

So, here we are less than a week to go before Christmas and I haven’t done my shopping again. All these ideas and not a gift to be found.

Kerry Rodd is a sports writer for the Pine Knot News. He can be reached at [email protected]