Have you ever come back from vacation feeling like you need a vacation?
Have you ever felt empty at the end of what should have been a great day?
Have you ever found yourself snapping at loved ones for no real reason?
If you answered “no” to all of these questions, then I’d like to congratulate you on the ungodly amount of money you are going to make writing your bestseller.
For the rest of us mere mortals, though, I’m guessing you’ve lived through some of these experiences. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably done them all, many times, maybe even this summer.
A couple of years ago, I had a trip where I managed to hit all three boxes at once. I traveled home to visit family and friends for about a week-and-a-half. The trip took lots of planning and coordination, and my parents and siblings all even managed to get together under one roof for some time at a cabin — quite a rare occurrence. I looked forward to being together, catching up, playing games, and getting to do all the fun things we didn’t get to do together the rest of the year.
But, as you’re probably guessing, by Day 3, I was feeling crabby. By Day 4, I was getting snappy, and by the end of the trip, I was feeling more tired than when I left. I came home and wondered where I had gone wrong.
What was missing?
It wasn’t activities, because we had all the fun I could have asked for. It wasn’t the people, because it’s not like we don’t get along at other times. It wasn’t even time to rest, because I had time to relax, and time to myself. Maybe it was something in the drinking water?
But since then, I think I’ve figured out what was missing from my vacation.
Gratitude.
Now, perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised. The way of Jesus that I try to follow every day teaches us to practice gratitude — to give thanks to God for all the good (and sometimes even the bad), because all things ultimately belong to God. Ultimately, that’s one of the reasons I’m a Christian: because it requires me to be humble, to trust in a loving God who wants what’s best for the world.
But I think, on my vacation, I was so caught up in just having the best time possible that I forgot to slow down and give thanks. It’s like I forgot all the fun I was having as soon as I was done having it, because I wasn’t able to be grateful for the good things of that day.
Now, please don’t mistake what I’m saying: I’m not advocating for constant positivity or for ignoring our feelings. The Bible also teaches us how to lament — that is, how to show our anger or sadness towards God or the world.
But finding some gratitude for all the good things in life can make all the difference. These days, I like to review the good things of the day (on vacation and at home) in my prayer journal, but other times I will just share them with my spouse. Every time I do, I feel more grounded.
This summer, I know you and yours have some fun things going on. But if you do find yourself feeling more tired than rested or more crabby than happy, gratitude might be just what you need. It has certainly improved every vacation for me ever since.
Pastor Wynands lives in Carlton with his wife, Andrea, and is the pastor of two partner churches in Carlton, Bethesda Lutheran Church and River’s Edge Church.