Francy that: Let's restructure our community goodness

Here we are at the end of the holiday season, a time of “glad tidings, peace, and good will toward all.” How ironic it is that Merriam-Webster, the dictionary people, recently released “polarization” as their word of the year. The word is chosen each year based on how often it is searched and found online. In 2024, an election year, the word was at the top of the list.

Even though the word has been around for a couple hundred years, the usage has changed, which often happens in our language. The word originally applied to the scientific movement of light waves.

The current Merriam-Webster definition is: “division into two sharply distinct opposites; especially, a state in which the opinions, beliefs, or interests of a group or society no longer range along a continuum but become concentrated at opposing extremes.”

Most of us would not consider ourselves to be extremists, but there is evidence that our beliefs and attitudes — not only about politics but about each other — have shifted from the center on both sides of the political spectrum.

In his most recent book, “How to Know a Person,” New York Times commentator David Brooks explores how each of us can improve our skills to build relationships and decrease the factiousness of our society.

“There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen — to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard and understood,” Brooks writes.

Pundits who have analyzed the recent election note that voters often feel disenfranchised, ignored or taken for granted. That does not speak well of our communities and society. We seem to have lost our way. The Golden Rule no longer applies as we denigrate those who disagree with us and construct barriers to understanding or harmony. We have forgotten the kindergarten rules to “share,” “play nice,” “be kind” and all the rest of the guidelines that build healthy relationships.

On the other hand, there is hope that we can improve as we find ourselves in a new year, no matter what our political stance.

In a recent Time magazine article, Claire Babineaux-Fontenot recounts her experience as CEO of Feeding America, a program that works to end hunger in this country.

“Over nearly five years, I’ve met thousands of people: staff, volunteers, and people facing hunger, each with a powerful story. Not a single person asked about my political affiliations,” she said.

The outpouring of donations in our community for fire victims, Christmas gifts for the young, and our own volunteers who organize and serve the holiday dinners likely do not all subscribe to the same political beliefs. And yet we can come together to help our neighbors.

Perhaps, as we consider the new year, maybe we can have one resolution: compassion for all. Before we lock others into a stereotyped box, let’s focus on their humanity, listen to their hopes and fears and search for understanding. We may not be able to totally change the political climate in the country, but we can change our hearts so that “polarization” is not a word that applies to us.

Writer Francy Chammings is a retired English teacher and clinical psychologist who loves living in Carlton County. Contact her via email at [email protected].